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Past Dive Reports |
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April
01, 2007
Some April Foolery on the RMS Oregon
17
brave souls headed out for opening
season on the Lockness to the Wreck
of the RMS Oregon. We were rewarded
for our troubles with calm seas and
mild topside weather. On the bottom
we found the temp 40 degrees top to
bottom and about 20' of visibility.
About a dozen lobster and 5 dozen
scallops came up. A few nice
artifacts came up as well, a brass
door vent and some ornamental
buttons. Most divers only did one
dive and kept the BT short due to
the cold. We did have a couple CCR
divers do longer dives. I received
the April Fool award for doing a 30
min dive even though I had two tears
in my drysuit. I am sure I'll thaw
out one day. Of course the usual
jokes and jabs that make the day
great with good people. Can't wait
for the USS San Diego next week, I
may even fix my suit.

Cheers
-
Capt. John Bricker
The Lockness went to the San
Diego this Saturday 4/7/07. The
water was warmer than the air,
water temp was 41 degrees air
temp was 33 degrees...that's
just wrong! The vis was 25 ft.
It seems that the top structure
is starting to collapse
downward, remember it's upside
down. The middle of the hull is
about 10 ft. lower then last
year. It's dropping and will
close many openings. We were
thinking maybe it's the weight
of the engines upside down all
these years taking its toll? One
of the divers come across a Shoe
and we were wondering if it
belonged to the person known as
The Shoe?? When one of the guys
told my he is known as The Pants
on another dive boat (Garloo)
because he dove last year with
the top of his wetsuit on and
wore his pants on the bottom!!
Could it be possible the Shoe
and the Pants are the same
person?? Rumor has it he might
be known as the Tie on the boat
Jeannie 2 ? Anybody with any
information about a Hat or Vest
or Sweater wearing diver, please
have a camera near by.

Lockness sailed to the
wreck known as the G & D on Saturday 4/21/07. The
water temp was 43 degrees, the vis was 3 feet, not
the best to say the least. Scallops and Lobsters
came up anyway, in spite of the conditions. We
also found out there was a bout of "Oregon Ass"
going around. For those of you that don't know what
that is, it is like a intestinal virus that will
make you miss the dive of the G & D. The only known
cure is to dive on the Oregon! Yes that's right,
believe it or not, its the only cure? It's one of
the 8 Wonders of the World!! (That's Dive World).
This condition only effects mates, never any
passengers. Isn't that the strangest thing you ever
heard?! I only hope this Saturday's trip to the
Oregon, my poor sick mate can muster the strength
to make the trip and receive the cure??

Seriously,
a weird thing happened on the trip
home. We were about 4 miles from Jones
inlet on a clear day, Capt. Kevin was
running the boat and I looked to the
shore line and I said "Where the Hell
are we???" I looked at the GPS to make
sure it said "Jetty" and it did, but the
coast line we were looking at I never
saw before. Everyone in the wheel house
were seasoned boaters with hundreds of
trips from Jones inlet and none of us
saw anything that looked remotely
familiar!! I t looked low lying
buildings or cliffs along the whole
coastline. At 3 miles we couldn't see
the Pencil or the Jones beach theater.
It was like a Twilight Zone episode. We
left Freeport April 21, 2007 and we came
back April 21, 2027. But just before
we were about to cry and call
"Mommy!!", we realized it was a Mirage.
The temp on land was high 70's, water
temp low 40's. I guess that had a lot
to do with it. I spoke to other
local captains in the area and a few
have experienced the same
thing. Besides my crew, it was the
strangest thing I've seen in a while.
(sober)!!
Lockness went
to the Oregon Sat 5/5. We had flat seas and
20+ ft. vis. Lobsters and Scallops and some
artifacts come up. We are pleased to
announce that the bout of Oregon Ass has
been cured!! It's miraculous but once you
touch the Oregon its a cure, the pain goes
away,the cramps are gone and its a great day
for the Irish!! So if your not feeling
well, or blind, deaf, or have Leprosy, we
have discovered the cure (sort of like the
Fountain of Lourdes in France). Let's just
keep it to ourselves, no need for the world
to know.
So I finally
did my first dive of the season and now it
all comes back to me as to why I didn't miss
it all winter. Just suiting up is a project
in itself. So I decided to impress some of
the guys by putting my mask on first then my
hood. It takes a while to master that
skill. I also had my $1000 computer
serviced in some foreign country. I'll get
to that in a minute. So I take the big
splash into the 43 degree water, start my
way down, the squeeze is so bad I thought my
eyes were going to pop out of their
sockets. As I'm descending, its all coming
back to me as to why I hate this sport!!!
When I finally clear my sinuses, I can feel
my eyes touching my mask (that's got to
leave a mark)!! The only thing more painful
then that, was the tip of my middle finger,
where the hole in my glove was the size of a
quarter. It wasn't the fact that the tip of
my finger was about to fall off, I almost
got use to that, but when the Bergalls
started to feed off the tip of my finger
then I knew Golf is in my future!!! Bergalls
by the way, are little fish that thought
they were Piranha that day!! Did I mention
that I lost the head of my Startec
light? So as the fish are Eating me Alive
now, all I can think about is how much
the light is costing me!!! Thank god its
finally time to surface.
Oh now my
$1000 dollar computer is in a language
that doesn't look like anything I ever
learned in PS 130 in Queens NY. Apparently
meters are a little different then feet.
When fish are eating you alive, it's hard to
remember how many feet are in a meter!! So
now I am at my 20 ft stop. I can see I
almost made it. Time to switch to 100% O2.
Naturally my regulator is free flowing. But
the good news is, I killed every fish that
was eating my finger!! In case you don't
know how to breath out of a free flowing
regulator...keep turning the valve on when
you have to take a breath and off when
you're done. It gets easier after about 15
to 20 minutes!! I can't wait for my second
dive next week!!
The Legend!!

Lockness ran to the Ayuruoca,
AKA the Oil Wreck this past
Saturday. You couldn't have
asked for better topside
conditions. While the bottom
was a little cold @41
Degrees, the vis was a
acceptable 10-15' depending
on who you asked. We were
tied in on the stern
section. On my dive I swam
to the gun tub and Aux. helm
station on the very stern.
While the forward wheel on
the double helm was taken
years ago the aft one is
still there and is a good 7'
in diameter. Others spent
their time digging and a few
cold cream jars, a wine
bottle, and a fantastic
platter with the ships line
was recovered. As always a
good time with good people.
For those that never have
dived the Oil Wreck, she is
a fantastic dive. A 460 odd
foot freighter sunk after
collision in 1945. She now
lies in 2 pieces upright and
intact in 175' in NJ mud
hole. All the masts are
intact and standing to the
crosstrees. Since she was
carrying war supplies, she
has several trucks lashed to
the decks. The deck gun and
aft helm are a must see. The
bridge, on the bow section,
can be reached in about 90'.
The deck are at 145'. The
only drawback is that the
mud hole wrecks are heavily
fished so entanglement is
concern.
One of the best things about
owning a dive boat and being
a diver is the ever present
search for a new wreck,
something no one has ever
dove, or even knows
about. It's the stuff we
dream of. This Sat. our
dreams came true, after
years of begging, pleading,
and buying countless beers.
One of the local fisherman
gave me a set of #s for a
wreck. Within a week we set
up a trip to dive the virgin
wreck and we had the who's
who of the dive world on the
boat ( I don't mean me!). We
had the crew Pat Rooney,
Jeff ( I hate everybody ) Pagano,
Kevin Dorman, Gus Bricker
( AKA Russ Ricker), and we
would have had John Bricker
but he came down with a case
of New wreck ass so we sent
him home. The other legends
besides myself were Richie
Kohler, Frank Pellegrino,
Evan Kovics, M3 (Marty
Schutzbank), and M4 (Mike
Schwaner), were there and
also Jeff (I broke the
window ) Gershen. Now the
bad news is the wreck is 60
miles away, in 200 feet of
water, the #s he gave me
are Loran #s which can be a
little difficult. The wreck
is low lying which makes it
harder to find. Oh did I
mention the 30 knot
winds??!! The wind dropped
to 15+ so we left at 3 AM
for the 6 hr. cruise, going
slow to conserve fuel. We
got there around 9 AM and
the waves are huge. I don't
see anything on the ocean
floor, my heart rate is
increasing with every
minute, I don't see
anything. So now I'm saying
to myself, we just went 60
miles for nothing, what a
loser you are. You knew you
should have waited for a
better day! Now I can feel
the sweat coming down my
forehead and the voices in
my head is calling me names
like Jackass, Asshole, Loser
and a few more I would
rather not mention!! After
more then a hour I keep
seeing this little raise in
the Ocean floor that comes
up around 4 to 5 Ft. It was
hard to tell because the
waves were a lot bigger then
that. Finally we drop the
line on some little speck in
the middle of the Ocean, the
voices are saying you just
wasted a lot of time and
money Jackass! Jeff and Pat
jump in to tie into
probably a old
refrigerator or shopping
cart ( the voices again ).
When the bottle came up I
can't believe we are on
something. The voices are
now saying, you the man,
words like great, legend,
and I think I was taller at
that moment. As it turns out
we discovered a very large
sailing vessel that has
never been touched since the
early 1800's. Pretty cool!
We think it was a four
masted ship over 300 feet
long. A Little while later a
lift bag comes up with 2
portholes very old and very
cool. Evan said they were
just sitting in debri, loose,
just waiting for a diver to
come by. We were tied into
the anchor wench on
the bow. On the stern is a
bronze helm station, a fare
amount of coal too. Also
there were 2 anchors on the
bow. The vis was 30+ There
were lots of lobsters and
even some Cod fish which you
don't see many of anymore.
The temp. was around 48. We
will be going back there
soon to see if we can find
out more about her on a lot
calmer day. Being the first
person to touch the wreck
you are allowed to name it.
First it was Jackass then
PJ Jackass, then FW (Filthy
whore) so that's it
we...found the Filthy Whore.
So next time your with a
filthy whore just remember
she wasn't until we found
her!!!
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2006
Dive Season Reports:
For
the purpose of this story, and not
to name names, I will refer to this
person as the *Shoe*. After a long
winter we finally had our first dive
trip on Sat. to the Diego. The
weather and the seas were great for
this time of year. As everybody was
gearing up to jump into the 44
degree water, I noticed one guy,
older then me, with a wet suit on
(The Shoe). So now I am wondering,
is this guy a *Legend* like me, or
is he a jackass? With 19 people on
the boat he then ask if anyone had a
left booty. So I tell him we're all
dry suit divers and we don't use
bootys. Than he says "Oh that's OK"
and proceeds to put on his left
Sneaker. Now I am so pissed off
that I didn't bring my video camera
I could scream! He jumps in with
spear gun in hand and sneaker on
foot and does his dive, so I figure
44 degree water he will be back in
ten minuets with a bad limp! A half
hour later he comes back dumps his
gear and stays in his wetsuit and
sneaker for the next 3 hours. So I
figure he is done for the day but to
my surprise he does a second dive.
When the (Shoe) comes back on the
boat it finally happens, I guess, he
can't feel his left foot and falls
on his back, (good thing he still
had his tank on to break his fall!)
But the Shoe was fine and he told me
has not eaten beef in two days so he
is a little weak!!!!??? So I figure
now is a good time for a beer. Did I
mention we had a film crew from NYU
shooting a document about about
diving, two girls and one guy. The
second girl, for all intent
purposes we will call her
the(Sleeper) as for the rest of this
story she was in charge of filming
and recording. I knew it was not a
good sign when she took 2 sea sick
pills at the dock! So 3 hrs. later
she wakes up so she can puke. Again
I don't have my camera. Damn! So 3
hrs. later we are telling tales of
how great we are in the wheelhouse
when in the middle of thrilling my
story of running out of air and
cheating death she falls asleep with
the microphone in her hand. Are you
shittin' me? Its one of my best
stories!!!! Now she is almost dead
in my eyes! After her 3 rd. nap she
gets a phone call from her mother
who asked her were she is. She
tells her mother she is in the
middle of the North Atlantic ocean
with a boat full of *middle aged men
*(I assume she was looking at Lou
Gardino) So this is boat diving at
its best! I will miss the Sleeper
and the Shoe, but one thing I
learned is always have your camera
and beer on the boat!
What seemed like just another
dive turned into a little more
than that. For the purpose of
this story, we will refer to
diver # 1 as an excellent diver,
we will refer diver # 2 as death
with fins!
On
July 29th we went to the
Coimbra, 57 miles southeast of
Jones inlet and a depth of 190
ft. We left the dock at 4:30 am
and arrived at the wreck about
8:30 am. At this time everybody
started suiting up to start
there dive. Everybody is also
doing Tri mix (so one would
think they knew what the fuck
they're doing)! So when diver
#1 & #2 go in, everything seems
fine except for a bad surface
current. About 35 min. later
they pop up about 75 ft. behind
the boat, I know this can't be
good. They get on the tag line
behind the boat and my mates
Capt. Kevin Dorman, Pat Rooney,
Jeff Panago and Capt. John
Bricker start to pull them to
the boat, which was no easy
task. Diver #2 takes off his
mask and takes out his regulator
(that's two things you never
do)! When we get them to the
boat, diver #1 tells us they did
30 min. on the bottom an diver #
2 ran out of gas (I
can't believe anybody tri mix
certified could be that stupid)!
So diver # 1 does an emergency
accent ties his penetration line
to the wreck and starts to go up
with diver # 2 sharing his gas.
Did I forget to mention that
they both left there deco
bottles at the anchor line,
something I don't do on a deep
dive for that very reason? Get
used to swimming with 4 tanks on
you. Diver # 1 is sharing his
gas and holding on to # 2 and
ascending so he can't shut off
his heater in his suit which is
starting to burn his chest. They
come up way too fast and when
they hit 60 ft. the current pops
them to the surface. By the time
we get them to the boat they're
in big trouble. Diver # 1 was in
so much pain and holding his
chest I thought he was having a
heart attack. My crew put both
men on O2 immediately and put #
2 back in the water on 100% O2
at 15 ft.. for over 60 Min. with
Capt. Kevin with him to make
sure he was OK.Meanwhile, the
minute I saw how much pain # 1
was in, I immediately called the
Coast Guard and requested a
helicopter rescue. After telling
them I couldn't leave because I
had divers in the water, they
said a Helo was in route but it
would take at least 1 hr. So we
waited for the Helo. The pain
in # 1's chest subsided a bit
but he said he felt numb (That
can't be good)! So 5 min.
before the Helo got there we
pulled diver # 2 out of the
water and got him ready for a
basket ride (Oboy)! We unhooked
from our mooring and started
steering into the wind 300
degrees as per pilot
instructions. We were doing
about 6 knots when the helo was
8 feet above my antenna's (Holy
Shit). Meanwhile my mates are
pulling a line from the helo and
pulling the basket on to the
back of the boat. When it gets
there they put diver # 2 in,
thumbs up and away he goes. They
do the same thing for diver #
1. It was like clockwork. In
fact, the pilot praised the
work of the crew. Within 5
min. they were gone. There's not
too many boats around that have
a crew like ours. They are
second to none. Meanwhile, all
the passenger's are
taking pictures and video. I
have great video which I will
share at a meeting after the
season. So when all is said and
done, we will learn from this.
I hope diver# 1 learns not to
dive with # 2. Now it's finally
over we start to head home. I
figure I need a beer and I can
almost taste it. Then the Coast
Guard tells me I have to take a
drug and alcohol test when I get
back to port (are you shittin'
me)?! As it turns out both
divers are OK they went to the
chamber and will be fine.
Capt. John (The Legend! )
Just
when I thought it couldn't
get any worse it did! For
the purpose of this story we
will refer to him as The
Worst Diver in North
America! We had a dive to
the Diego. We were out the
day before and the ocean was
like a lake. There was no
forecast for any wind so I
expected the same for this
day. We left the inlet at 6
am, a little choppy. I
figured it would lay down,
but it didn't. By the time
we got to the Diego it was
Evil and out of the East. As
we all know nothing good
comes out of the East! As we
tie into the wreck, I look
at my mates and know there
going to have a real busy
day (18 divers) to say the
least. Now I'm saying to
myself, we should have went
to the Iberia, but that was
that. The first diver in, we
have to pull him back to the
boat with the tag line. Too
rough, current, the planets
weren't aligned right or
something like that. Now I
know its going to be a long
day. Everybody sick, tanks
are falling, its a cluster
Fuck and were in the middle
of it! One of the
passengers tells me if we
pull the boat up and take
some scope out of the line
it will better. I tell him
when the divers are up, I
will pull the boat forward
and take up some of the
slack. Meanwhile, one of
the passengers ( we will
call him Elvis) tell's me
his buddy has not come up
yet ( OBOY). So I look at
the roster and see he jumped
in at 9:15. I look at my
watch it's 10:15. I say to
Elvis, please tell me he's
got double 120 tanks?!
Elvis tells me he's got a
-Red- 80 tank (not sure what
the Red meant?) Now, very
calmly, I go to the
wheelhouse and start looking
down current in 4-5 Ft. seas
looking for any sign of
anything! I am thinking,
here we go again, Coast
Guard Helicopter, Drug test,
Etc.. like last week. All
of a sudden my ex # 2 mate
yells that the mooring line
is undone. The boat does a
360 degree turn and now
we're Ass backwards into 5
ft. waves smashing into the
stern of the boat ( Holly
Shit). Did I mention I have
5 divers still under water
and one diver missing? Oh
wait, it gets better! I ask
my ex 2nd mate ( for the
purpose of this story we
will call him Rus Ricker)
did the line snap?? Now here
comes the good part... he
says to me in a very low
voice that the
same passenger and him tried
to pull the boat forward so
they untied IT and the line
pulled out of their hands.
Now just so you understand,
wind 20 kts. 4-5 Ft. seas
very close and a Forty
thousand pound boat that the
PASSENGER and ( Rus Ricker)
are trying to pull foward
makes sense to
me????? Finally the divers
come up. We throw out a ball
on the mooring and I start
looking for the missing
diver or should I say (
friend of Elvis). I take a
compass heading and start
to the West. I give myself
a half hour before I'm
calling the Coast Guard. We
go a mile and a half and I
find ( friend of Elvis) just
floating around not a care
in the world, 1 1/2 miles
away...Holy Shit! I said to
him, do you no how lucky he
was, and he said he knew I
would find him (no sausage
bag). That's when I
realized he was the worst
diver in North America! Now
we get the ball on and go to
the wreck called the Dry
Dock, 50 Ft. not too nasty
of a ocean. I figure they
can't hurt themselves on
this one. When friend of
Elvis comes up again, he is
30 ft. behind the boat. You
just can't make this Shit
up! As for my mate ( Rus
Ricker), we are sending him
to the Howard Klein School
of Mating!! So what could
be better then owning a dive
boat!!!
Capt.
John ( The Legend)!!
PS. He
makes The Shoe look like
Jacques Costeau!!
The First (and last)
Lockness Night Dive Report
Here it was a beautiful
Thursday night, in late
August. The guys were
all set with their gear
on The Lockness for the
first (and last) night
dive. My future
ex-husband informs me
that he's leaving the
shop (which I shall be
the sole owner of
shortly) and heading to
John's (who is DEAD in
my eyes) at 5pm for the
night dive. OH BOY, the
NIGHT DIVE
oooooooooooooohhhh! So
off they go. Now mind
you, I'm home with my
two boys....AND my
mother- in-law (soon to
be dead next to Gorman
and Jamie). Now I'm
sitting at home
listening to my
mother-in-law ask Nick
questions which Nick
answers, but she can't
hear! Then Nick asks her
questions, and all she
says is "what?" "huh?"
or "oh my butt hurts”,
“oh my knees hurt" Oh
yeah... I'm having a
great time now! I go up
to bed and read my book.
Now I see it's about
10pm and I figure Jamie
should be coming home
within the hour. That
would have made his dive
trip just about 6 hours
long. Makes sense, no?
NOOOOOOOOOOO! Of course
not! Why should ANYTHING
make sense if it
includes Capt. “Dead in
my eyes” Gorman ! ! !
The time approaches
11:30pm, and figure a
call coming soon. Nick
asks when daddy will be
home and Jamie asks
“isn’t it sort of late
for daddy to be out
still?” I'm like, yes,
uh huh, yup. Then Nick
asks if dad could've
been eaten by a shark. I
almost said YES, but I
knew that would make him
cry, and I'm not in the
mood for any whining
crying kids at this
point. I doze off and
young Jamie wakes
me..... “MOM! MOM! It's
like 1:00 am and dad's
still not home. Aren't
you worried???”
Worried??? Nah... why
should I be worried.
He's with the great
captain who has almost
cut the leg off one
diver, damn near lost
two divers to the bends,
had another diver
surface like a mile and
a half away from his
boat, AND can't spell to
save his life.
Worried... NO. Maybe
this was an OVERNIGHT
DIVE??? So I start
calling Jamie's cell
phone...."The caller you
are trying to reach is
not available” …or has
left for a night dive on
The Lockness. “Please
leave a message". I try
calling about 5 times,
but no answer. At this
point, I don't want to
leave a message because
if I do, the screaming
will burst Jamie's ear
drums when he hears it.
It's now almost 2 a.m.,
and the steam is spewing
from my ears. My eyes
are bugging out, and the
kids are pacing my
bedroom. I’m now
thinking...should I call
Pat?? Oh GEEZ NO! She's
probably way more pissed
than me, and even I'd be
scared! If anything
happened, I'm sure she'd
call me to let me know,
right? So I call Jamie's
cell one more time. HE
ANSWERS! I don't really
remember what I said but
I think I used
expletives more than a
few times! Now he is
home, and more angry
spewing comes out of my
mouth. I take a breath
and he says "Susan, I'm
shot, tired and I want
to go to bed. Can we
finish this in the
morning?" OH
BOY...little did he know
I wasn't going to let
him LIVE until the
morning! John would
truly see DEAD people
that morning! So, of
course, first thing in
the morning, I give him
the speech about how he
has no clue how worried
I get when there is no
phone call to let me
know he's up and out of
the water.... yada- yada.
He tells me that there
is no cell service until
you get inside the inlet
and at that point it's
useless to call because
he'll be home shortly.
OH REALLY? DUH ! ! ! So
I ask him, “Doesn't John
have a satellite phone?”
He says “Yes, but did
you want me calling at
1am and waking up the
whole house?”
AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGG! The
whole house WAS up you
turd-4-brains! Friday
was not a pretty day.
Mr. “DunWell” was a bit
cranking and beyond
tired. We're lucky if he
stays up until 9pm most
nights! So, as I end
this story, let it be
known that if Jamie
wants to make any more
dives on The Lockness,
he must bring his mother
on the trip with him so
I'm assured of a phone
call when he's done!
What happens on the
Lockness may stay on the
Lockness, but what
happens at the Arkins
NEVER stays at the
Arkins'!
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